Starving the Appetite for Conflict: Pursue...

In If You Bite & Devour One Another, author Alexander Strauch presents a comprehensive look at what Scripture instructs what is necessary for sincere Christ-followers to do when they go through struggles. In the first part of his book, Strauch discussed how believers should act when facing conflict: Christians are to act in the Spirit, act in love, and act in humility. He then explained what needs to be controlled in conflicts: believers must control their anger, control their tongue, and control their criticism. In all of this, we must remember we are only able to live out love and forgiveness through the redeeming power of Christ at work in us.

The third element in stopping conflict is that Christians are to pursue both reconciliation and peace. If one believer wrongs another, they must go to the brother or sister they offended and ask for forgiveness. Even if they do not, it is also the responsibility of the offended brother or sister to go to the believer who sinned against him and lovingly confront them over it. This reconciliation first takes the form of a private meeting, between the two Christians. If the dispute cannot be settled, then another meeting should be held, this time with witnesses. This is because--if the personal sin is serious enough--it should not be simply swept under the rug.

If this sort of personal, private mediation does not resolve the ongoing sin, then the wider church body should be made aware of the conflict. If the issue cannot be settled even with the congregation working together, than the brother in the wrong should be dis-fellowshiped by the church (Matt.18:15-20). This is an extreme measure, and should not be taken lightly. However, sin should be taken seriously and disciplined seriously. In all of this, we are called to approach each other in the right spirit, relying on the Holy Spirit within us to overcome our sinful habits. We must speak the truth in love and with courage, and always hope for reconciliation.

Believers also need to pursue peace with each other. Why? There are several reasons: 1) peacemaking is blessed by the Lord, 2) peacemaking produces healthy, sanctified lives and churches, 3) and peacemaking is every believer's responsibility. 4) Peacemaking requires mediation, which means that we must call on a mediator for help, and call on the church body for its wisdom and help. 5) Peacemaking is courageous, hard work, 6) it prizes the unity of the body of Christ, and 7) it is virtuous.